Goodbye is the hardest word

This has been a very difficult week. We had to make the difficult decision to put down our 14 year old cat. She was very healthy and happy until DS2 arrived in December, and then she began to deteriorate.

She started losing fur and getting huge clumps on her belly that I had to cut out. Then about a month ago I noticed she wasn’t eating as much, seemed to be losing weight and her fur looked dirty.

The vet said she had an infected tooth and the rest could be stress related. He did bloodwork and she was absolutely normal, to the surprise of the vet given her age.

We decided to wait and see how she was, and it only got worse. Sadly it’s hard to watch her closely when she hid most of the time to stay clear of our noisy boys.

On Tuesday I noticed her belly was completely brown and dirty and she had licked all the fur off her hind legs – until they were raw. I rushed her back to the vet so we could remove the tooth, which we assumed was the culprit. The vet also did X-rays to rule out anything else, and they were clear.

So I left her at the vet that night to fast before the tooth extraction the next morning. I never realized it would be the last time I would see her alive and awake.

The vet called the next morning to say he sedated her and when he looked in her mouth he found a sizeable mass under her tongue. And when he lifted her tongue it was stiff and started to bleed. He concluded it was oral cancer, particularly because she was also drooling excessively, which is a symptom.

Because of her age and condition he said it couldn’t be treated. So with a breaking heart I asked him to put her down.

I went there to sign the papers and stayed with her while he did it. I couldn’t leave her to die alone with a stranger. Poor girl, she looked so small and helpless.

Now I’m trying to get used to not having her around. Packing up her stuff and putting it in the garage. Vacuuming up her fur for the last time. Thinking I need to put away baby stuf because she might lie on it and remembering she won’t. Hearing our wood table creak and expecting to see her in the middle of it, and remembering she’s gone.

I know it was the right decision, I just wish I had seen it coming so her last days would have been full of cuddles instead of me getting angry because she was shedding on yet another piece of furniture.

Rest in peace sweet Abbey. We will never forget your eager headbutts or thunderous purr.

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3 thoughts on “Goodbye is the hardest word

  1. mjoanross says:

    I’m so sorry Sheri; my heart goes out to you. We always wish we could have done more for our little companions but sadly, it was her time. Thanks for sharing your story and the sweet photo of Abbey.

  2. Rhonda says:

    Oh my – Sheri my heart breaks for you. Hopefully in time, all the good memories of her will out weigh the grief you feel today. xoxo

  3. Aunt Jean says:

    I am so sorry Sheri to hear that Abbey had to be put down. She has been part of your life for a long time and you will miss her for some time to come. She had a good home with you!

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